“He told me that he loved me, but in that broken moment, I knew he was lying. There are no words to express the pain in knowing he could never love me. But again, I find it comforting to know the truth of the man I once knew. Maybe another time, he could love, but I will not wait for it. Too many times he’s broken my heart, and too many times I’ve given away parts of my waning life. I shall move on and hopefully find the happiness I have been searching for before I die.”
Every part of her ached to climb back into the carriage, but it was too late. The door was closed and the coach was already in motion. She stared down the drive; watching the horses quicken when they met open road. He was gone.
Annibell’s ruddy lips quivered as she fought the tears that threatened to fall. What had she done? He offered her what she had been yearning for so long, and she said no? She tugged a loose blond strand behind her ear before turning toward her house.
Her father was sure to be waiting for her; wondering where she had gone and with whom. Of course he already knew, for how could he not? There was no other man that distracted her more than Alex. And Alex was the one man she was not allowed to love, let alone ride in his carriage and allow him to kiss her as much as he pleased.
It came, it came through snailing mail.
How often I told him to send through e-mail.
But so fickle are men–and he is one–
I could not waste time arguing what cannot be redone.
At least, it came–so delighted I was–
I neglected to notice the white-out smudge,
Which later I discovered, through faithful friend–
His ex-wife’s name written by him!
How can a man be as thoughtless as this,
To regift an old valentine to his newly wedded miss?
Callous Swine! Wretched Thing!
And to think I engraved his wedding ring!
This is why he lies alone,
Wondering why I have gone.
But when the morning comes–he’ll know.
My new discovered boyfriend will tell him so.
Waking up, I see your face,
I hear your words whisper in haste.
Am I too late as the sun goeth down?
I cannot find you, yet when I turn around,
You’re standing there with an upturn smile,
Your arms are wide, I run two miles.
Yet, just before I meet you there,
You always suddenly disappear.
And I am left in grave despair,
Because I realized you never were there.
My eyes open before yours close,
It’s been fifteen years since you dozed.
As always, when the sun doeth rise,
I find a body print next to mine.
It was a quiet meadow; a silent, moonless night that brought her to where she now stood. The soft grass tickling her toes caused a slight shiver to run up her spine. She dug her chubby toes into the thick bed of grass. Nature was the best medicine for her constant grief. A wry smile etched her solemn facade when she inhaled the strong, sweet scent of fresh earth. Tonight, she will let her sorrows roll of her stiff backside and enjoy the silent company.
Don’t you cry,
Come with Jamie,
And we’ll bake some pies.
We will have lots of fun,
Playing here under the sun.
Laugh with me,
Your pretty eyes,
They sparkle with glee.
Sing with me,
We’ll sing a lullaby,
Until we sleep.
Sleep is what I yearn for,
Sleep is what I need.
My eyes fall heavy,
My body weakens,
I call for it and plead.
Why must I lay here, gazing at the wall?
When I much rather fall asleep,
Dreaming of you most of all.
A minute, an hour…
I still lay here hour after hour.
My love, my darling.
Where have you gone?
Sleep forsakes me when you are forever gone.
His shadow, did I see,
Or was it the tree that bends and creaks?
I lay awake and wonder why you forsake me.
My love, my darling…
Days turn to months, months to years.
I still lay awake longing for the sleep,
But it is you I forever seek.
My love, my darling.
When will you come back?
Eternal sleep, I call to you,
This life is empty because of you.
My love, my darling,
Where have you gone?
I see it, just beyond.
I reach, but it runs from me,
My love, please don’t abandon me.
Soon, I will will grasp the sleep, my dear,
And then, my love, together we shall forever slumber here.
I swing up and see the heavens,
I swing down and see the ground,
I grip the bars aside my face,
As I look into heaven’s grace.
The sweet, cool breeze blows around me,
I fly higher and higher than need be.
A song, a whistle, a smile, a giggle…
Mother laughs along with me.
I let go and fly,
Fly higher to reach the sky.
I hear her cry,
I wonder why, as many hands carry me.
I see her, she sees me.
I laugh, she cries,
The light, the sky,
I see it for the first time.
I reach and follow,
I hear no more sorrow.
I look down onto the ground,
She sits and swings,
I think she thinks of me.
She grips the bars aside her face,
And swings to the sky to feel my embrace.
We laugh and cry,
She saw the light for the first time.
“The swing,” she says. “The swing.”
“Oh my god, Ashton. How did you ever afford such a beautiful necklace,” Alison blurted as she examined the gold chain and the dangling heart-shaped emerald.
“Yeah, Ashton, how did you? As I recall seeing one exactly like it, at the Huntington’s jewelry store just last week.”
Patrick grinned at Ashton with mocking eyes.
“You bought it from Huntington’s,” Alison asked, thrilled by the news. “I was there last week with Jane, and I never saw anything like this, Ashton. When did you get it?”
Ashton stood there, his lips pursed like a fish. His mind went blank. Alison thought it was real and expensive, how was he to tell her he purchased it for twenty bucks at Arlen’s Discount Clothing. It didn’t even come in a box. He grimaced at her sweet facade for several seconds, not wanting to ruin her elation over the sparkling thing.
“Ashton,” she repeated. “When did you get it? It’s lovely!”
“Oh, I just got it a week or two ago,” he said, “Can’t really remember you know. I just saw it and knew you’d like it.”
“Oh, thank you, Ashton! I really do like it,” she blurted with a wide grin. “I will show Jane right now! I can’t believe she didn’t tell me her uncle had this at the store. You know he started working there last month.”
Ashton panicked. He quickly grabbed her arm when she turned to join Jane on the front steps of the house. Alison yelped as she tripped on his toes; falling hard onto her knees.
“Ugh! Ashton, why did you do that?”
She stood, rubbing her aching knees as Patrick erupted in high-pitch laughter.
“Shut up, Patrick. It’s not funny,” Ashton said as he squatted down to look at Alison’s bruised knee. “Sorry, babe. I just thought maybe you’d want to hang out with us a little longer. You don’t have to show Jane the necklace right now.”
“Oh yes I do, Ashton. I promised I’d show her what you got me for my birthday, and I want to show her. We can hang out tonight if you want to. Sarah is suppose to come with us to the mall in thirty minutes, anyways.”
Ashton’s heart sank as he watched her run from the kitchen. He knew Jane would tell her the truth: that there wasn’t ever a necklace like that at the store because it was fake. In fact, he knew Jane would take that opportunity to throw it in her face and make Alison hate him for good.
“Too bad, bro,” Patrick said; laughing under his breath. “I really thought it would work out. But you have to admit this is going to be hilarious to watch.”
“Oh, hilarious for you–maybe–but I’m dead meat when Jane gets done with her! And it’s all your stupid fault too, Patrick. Why did you have to tell her it was from Huntington’s?”
“I don’t know,” he said with a careless shrug, “thought it’d work. I thought it’d help ya out.”
“Liar. You knew she would run off and tell Jane. She tells Jane everything and you know Jane hates me.”
“Jane doesn’t hate you, she just likes to see you squirm. Besides, we all need a little excitement in our lives.”
“Excitement? I think I have enough excitement between you and Jane–too much in fact. Now, I need to fix this. She is going to be so upset–she won’t even want to talk to me.”Ashton sighed before looking up with regret. “Oh no! She’s gonna cry. I can’t handle her when she cries. I can’t stand it! This is all your fault, Patrick. All your fault!”
“Oh shove it, Ashy. Take it like a man. If it will make you feel better, you can go on and make Jane cry with a couple of swings. It might take a awhile, but I am sure you can get a tear to come out of that coarse beast called Jane. I know it will make me feel better.” He laughed. “Ewe! Jane could be a beastie with all that hair she grows. I tell her all the time to go into town and stock up on Nair and she won’t do it. She gets mad too. Don’t know what that’s about. Girls like advice don’t they? I mean if someone told me I was growing too much hair, I’d like to know.”
Ashton stood transfixed. He never realized how oblivious his friend could be–or stupid for that matter.
“What? You’re looking at me the way you look at dumb Carol. Like when she goes on and on about rainbow-colored ponies. Like that would ever happen! I swear, her parents must of smoked something when they had her. She’s soooo stupid!”
“Oh, really, Patrick? I think y’all would be a perfect couple,” Ashton replied before turning to see how much damaged Jane had done already.
“Hey! What’s that suppose to mean? She is stupid!”
She sits, he waits.
A flustered heart, a tear, a laugh.
The sun begins to set.
They see each other with acceptance.
No hatred, no anger, no sorrow.
She leaves, he sits.
A new dawn, a new day.
She laughs, he cries.
They watch the sun rise with new light.
He remembers, she forgets.
He sits and waits.